Last year I had all these grandiose plans.. yeah, about them.. not so much with the execution part.
Oh sure I managed to pay off the student loan.. but that was about it.
will I be any better at it this year? prolly not. at least I am honest about it this time. I cold give you all sorts of excuses, and you'll nod your head wisely and say you understand.
the truth of the matter is, I fell apart. About, oh 8 months ago I had a breakdown/epiphany/revelation. and NOT in a good way. I should have gone to see a mental health professional. I didn't. the reasons why don't really matter. well they do, but I am not going to give you my lame ass excuses( all of which had a reasonable counter argument as to why I could not do such and such a thing),
I have been doing this Navy Spouse thing for well over 15 years. as I look back on the last 24 months of my life.. the first 13 years.. were NOTHING. a cakewalk. easy peasy. didn't even work up a sweat.
so what makes this last duty station so damned 'special'? the choices we made.. consciously.
we , DH and I , brought it upon ourselves and we suffered.. personally and professionally, because of it. we tried to convince ourselves that it was worth it, that this was a good check in the box for his career progression, that we could visit each other every 6 months and that would be enough.
We were wrong. does no good now to say we coulda shoulda. it's done. in about 3 months ish, he will PCS and be back here. and then instead of having to learn to live apart, we have to learn to live together again.